My Path to Hiking to the Gratitude Garden

Here at Friendsville Square we have written a time or two about the virtue of creating challenges that can push us to reach our goals. These challenges – whether mini or major – can be a very powerful tool in accomplishing a larger goal we have set for ourselves. For Jodi and me, as retirees, it’s been particularly important to set goals for ourselves since we have wrapped up our careers and the biggest chunk of parenting duties are in the rearview mirror.

Late last fall I decided to challenge myself to take a 6- to 9-mile hike in the canyons of Southern California. Why a hike? Why so long (it’s long for me!)? Why in Southern California? I’m gonna be honest; I took up this challenge based on an emotional whim. And I’m glad I did. Let me explain.

Taking on Hiking as a Challenge in 2025

In 2020, my friend Andrea introduced me to Karen because Karen was diagnosed with breast cancer, and because I'm also a breast cancer survivor, Andrea thought Karen could use a friend her age to talk to. Thus began my phone and online friendship with Karen! In May 2024 we finally met face to face, and we became friends IRL! Besides our cancer diagnoses, we have so much in common – it’s almost eerie (but that’s a blog for another day).

I met Karen (left) in person for the first time while visiting her and Andrea in Sacramento in May 2024.

We’ve continued to chat, and in the fall of 2024 she shared a newsclip with me and Andrea where she talked about her cancer journey including her effort to regain her stamina and strength. (Karen is very active – hiking, aerobics, working out and even tap dancing!) In her TV news interview, she shared that during her recovery from treatment she used her favorite hike in the nearby canyon trails in the Puente Hills Preserve as her measuring stick. It is Karen’s favorite set of trails that now includes the Gratitude Garden of special inspirational rocks that she has cultivated with friends and family members who have joined her on this hike and her post-cancer journey.

I was so affected by her testimony that I “shouted” to Andrea and Karen on text: “I want to do that hike!” Immediately, Karen said “Then you will do it!” What was I thinking? I really walked 1-2 miles max on flat earth on my best day. Plans fell into place quickly since Andrea and I had a May 2025 trip to Los Angeles already scheduled (I have never been to LA and Andrea is the perfect tour guide). Karen lives in a suburb of Los Angeles, so the stars aligned, and my long LA weekend turned into a week – half in pop culture and amusement park heaven with Andrea – and half with Karen site seeing and, ultimately, hiking to the Gratitude Garden.

Creating a Plan to Set Me Up for Success

So, I made the commitment (very quickly), but how was I going to go from a struggling 1-mile walker to a 6- to 9-mile hiker? Karen and Andrea to the rescue. Karen, who has a Ph.D. in public health, was not going to let me fail, so she put together a 12-week plan (that I put on repeat to stretch it out to 16 weeks!). I started in January. The plan was a weekly training guide that included walking/hiking, strength training, stretching, rest, and even words of inspiration. Each week Karen would up my walking distance and encourage me to increase my pace and incline. For strength training, I enrolled in a twice-a-week senior fitness and strength class at my local rec center. I also prepped for my challenge with some fun activities – shopping for hiking shoes and an outfit suitable for the occasion!

Andrea was my cheerleader and my accountability coach. I could count on her to regularly check in on my progress, encourage me to find bigger hills in the relatively flat Midwest, and applaud me when I graded my past week with an A. And she offered tough love when my weekly assessment dipped to a B- or C+. She was that voice in my head, that nudge on my shoulder to keep going. I even walked in the rain one Sunday to keep on schedule (and I don’t do bad weather walking, ha!). I also have to give a special shoutout to my friends Laurie and Jodi for walking with me, but especially to Sally. She walked the long walks with me, including what felt like a somewhat treacherous actual 5-mile hike on the Lewis & Clark Trail in the wooded Busch Wildlife area near Weldon Spring, Mo. (to be fair, it’s not treacherous; it just felt that way to me). But seriously, Sally logged 3- to 6- mile walks/hikes with me almost weekly. (She’s the ultimate storyteller and a strong walker – a truly magical combination in a training buddy.)

Training Complete. On to Cali!

I completed Karen’s original 12-week training plan and just continued repeating week 12 for a few more weeks. On May 3 I was off to L.A. to begin my pop culture bucket list trip that would culminate in the hike to the Gratitude Garden.

We visited USC, Andrea's alma mater and found Tommy the Trojan.

Andrea and I enjoyed the Warner Brothers Studio Tour.

The One Where Andrea and Heather Pose on the Friends Couch.

Universal Studios in California was a blast!

Photo 1: We visited USC, Andrea's alma mater, and found Tommy the Trojan. Photo 2: Andrea and I enjoyed the Warner Brothers Studio Tour. Photo 3: The One Where Andrea and Heather Pose on the Friends Couch. Photo 4: Universal Studios in California was a blast!

My long weekend with Andrea was a blast! Part one of the trip with my expert tour guide included quintessential LA sites like the USC campus (Andrea’s alma mater), Rodeo Drive, Hollywood Boulevard, Sunset Boulevard, the Rose Bowl, the Brady Bunch house, Pee Wee Herman’s house, Father of the Bride house, lovely restaurants, cool book shops and boutiques, a tour of the Warner Brothers Studios (including a Friends store and couch/fountain photo opp), and a trip to Universal Studios.

Photos 1 and 2: While on our walk around the Hollywood Reservoir, Andrea (left) and I found nice views of the historic Hollywood Sign.

But Andrea did not forget about the challenge before me and prepared me with a gifted (and pre-stickered) water bottle (and other fun SoCal gifts) and took me for a Sunday morning 3.5-mile walk around the Hollywood Reservoir that would keep me loose for my upcoming hike. The reservoir walk was a great mix of exercise and getting a slice of LA life – and it afforded me excellent views of the famous Hollywood sign.

The Day Arrives With My Anxiety Wavering

Photo 1: Karen's friend Susie (left) joined us for a double-decker bus tour of Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Photo 2: Our tour included a quick tour inside and outside of Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

On Tuesday, Andrea tagged out and Karen tagged in as my L.A. guide. After great meals, time with her family and friends, and a memorable double-decker tour of Hollywood and Beverly Hills, it was Thursday morning and time to set out on what Karen decided would be a 6-mile route for our hike to the Gratitude Garden (she often takes a 9-mile version that adds 1.5 miles from her home to the trailhead and 1.5 miles back to her house).

We decided on an early morning hike (but not crazy early), and we were at the trailhead of the Arroyo San Miguel portion of our hike. A quick selfie before we started, and we were off. Going into this challenge – this hike – I had two fears: one, that my pace would be achingly slow for Karen; and two, that the inclines of Southern California canyons would get the best of me. Both Andrea and Karen assured me that I should toss out any anxiety about pace. Karen would follow my pace. But the incline – it felt like such an unknown. How it would affect me? I didn’t train for incline as much as I should have. I had succeeded in upping my walking distance (grade: A-), but I failed in sufficiently adding incline to my walks (D-, and that may be generous).

Photo 1: The Arroyo Pescadera Trailhead. We began at the San Miguel trail. Photo 2: Looking fresh before we set off on the trail. Photo 3: Coach and crafter Andrea gifted us each a "take a hike" friendship bracelet to commemorate my challenge.

But that “bad grade” wasn’t going to stop me; it just added a little anxiety. The walk started with an incline, but it wasn’t bad. In fact, while there was plenty of hill scaling, I managed it. I kept my head down when going up hill, so I wasn’t focusing (or obsessing) over the climb and literally took it a step at a time. Karen is a great conversationalist, so she kept our minds busy. She knew just the spots to stop for pretty photo opportunities, taking in the wild flowers, the mountains, and the beautiful blue skies. The trails were a mixture of wide dirt paths and broken up asphalt roads of years gone by. The weather had been dry, so there were no muddy paths to contend with, and my new hiking shoes did a great job keeping me going.

Photo 1: Karen had us stop to add a rock to a "rock mountain" built by fellow hikers. Photo 2: I obliged Karen who wanted to make sure I documented beautiful stops along the trail.

The Gratitude Garden

We reached the Gratitude Garden that Karen has built over the last several years. It’s slightly off the trail. Passersby are not likely to know that it is even there. I took in all the inspirational rocks that make up the garden, and then Karen and I added two very bright new rocks. Before I took the trip, I found three suitable rocks to add to the garden. I made one for Andrea, Karen and me – each decorated with a word that was meaningful to each of us. Andrea’s was “Inspire,” since she inspired me to take on the challenge and kept me accountable like any good coach would do. For me, I wanted to manifest a can-do spirit, so in the words of the great Tad Lasso, I chose “Believe.” And for Karen, the caretaker of the Gratitude Garden, I emblazoned her rock with her own mantra, “GoBeDo.” I think this non-word word speaks for itself, and it fits Karen to a tee.

Photo 1: A couple of bright additions made specially for the Gratitude Garden. Photo 2: The Gratitude Garden with its new inhabitants.

Karen surprised me with some Native American arrowheads to add to the garden, as well, to remind us of our time as cancer survivor warriors. It was wonderful to finally see the garden in all its simple glory – so symbolic of Karen’s growth and support she received through her treatment and beyond. I asked Karen to share what the Gratitude Garden means to her. “It is important to me because it continually reminds me of the number of people who have been there for me and who I am grateful for. It anchors my 'why,'” she said. “The Gratitude Garden is a safe place for me. Each time I visit, my fellow hikers and I hold our rocks together for a picture – which strengthens the bond of friendship – and then we place our rocks down and watch the garden grow. It’s especially helpful to visit before my doctor appointments, so I can remember how it all started.”

We completed the Arroyo San Miguel Trail and veered off on the Dear Loop Trail for the final leg of the hike. We shared more conversation, took more photos, and enjoyed our time in nature. Before I knew it, we were back at the trailhead where we started!  Our hike stats are length: 6.5 miles; elevation gain: ~700 feet; time: 3 hours. (I know that’s a slow time; I’m just not a fast hiker!)

Goal Accomplished!

Can you see the relief in my face? We completed the hike! Karen was a very patient and entertaining guide.

At the end of the hike, there were photos taken and hugs galore. We texted Andrea – our partner in all of this – that the mission was completed. Heck, Karen even played the USC fight song to commemorate the hike while taking video! After treating me to a tasty breakfast to celebrate, we returned to her house, feeling strong.

After completing this challenge – the hike to the Gratitude Garden – I feel grateful for the friends who helped me reach my goal. Just like Karen is grateful for all those who supported her through her diagnosis, treatment and recovery, I understand what she means and how she feels. It is so much easier, so much more enriching, and so much more empowering to reach a summit with people around you who care about you and want to be a part of bettering your life.

That’s what this process – the planning, training, and execution of hiking to the Gratitude Garden – has meant to me. It’s about overcoming fear, becoming a stronger person, and learning that we don’t have to do life alone. I believe that taking on this challenge has affected the trajectory of my life, and that sets me up for conquering new challenges and more adventures in the future!

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~ Heather M. and Jodi B.