Write Your Own Style Signature

“What are you wearing today?” 

For me, this isn’t just an idle or meaningless question. From the time I was very young, I’ve noticed how people, particularly women, put themselves together, whether it was family members coming to visit, a friend’s mom at the playground, my mother’s dental hygiene students, or women shopping for produce at the grocery store. I loved gazing at every chosen detail. My mother would talk about meeting up with friends or family and before she could share any news about them, she told me I would rush in, even as a child of five, with the question, “WHAT was she wearing?” I would want to know the color of the dress, the shape of the earrings, the length of the necklace, the shade of the hose, and the height of the heel. My demands for all these details amused my mother and mattered to me. Looking back, I’m so thankful she understood! I wouldn’t have been able to say why I had to know; I simply loved being able to draw a picture in my mind based on the vivid description my mother provided. 

This “desire to know” what people are wearing doesn’t come from a perverse desire to condescend, judge, or mock. I just found – and still find – joy seeing women wearing beautiful clothes and accessories or putting themselves together in a cool, unusual or just very “them” way because through the way they presented themselves, they looked confident and happy. I saw this in my own family, noticing my relatives and their friends who dressed to suit their day, or perhaps an occasion, while remaining true to their personalities and the evolving zeitgeist of the 1960s. I noted shapes, colors, composition, and attitude. As I grew older, the books I read (Little Women by Louisa May Alcott sticks out as an example) explored women’s lives and described the clothes they wore while living them. It was just second nature to me to be impressionable in this way, and it is this lifelong curiosity and interest that spurred me to devise my own style signature. 

I saw so many women in my life who just looked like themselves that I figured I would just snap my fingers and make my own magic. But it took years to be confident in my choices. I had role models and observations, but money for clothes in my family had to stretch to accommodate four people. Happily, my grandmother, a skilled seamstress, took me fabric shopping and made me beautiful clothes to supplement my store-bought items. Enjoying the privilege of her sewing just for me was an experience that contributed a great deal towards the creation of my own style signature. 

What to Consider/How to Evaluate:

One of the stylish people I follow for inspiration on YouTube, Carla Rockmore, often hears the question, “How do I develop my personal style?” Check out her 3 Ps. You can apply these tenets no matter your age. They might lead you to other questions: 

Think about the qualities that make you YOU: Your personality (outgoing? introverted?), characteristics (funny? bookish?) and interests (travel? sewing? gardening?) are all reflected in what you choose to wear. Keep in mind, though: you are not solely what you wear, but what you wear can reflect the person you are or want to be. 

What colors are you drawn to? Do you come alive wearing bright colors, more muted tones, pastels, or just black? In the ‘80s, “having one’s colors done” was a big industry. As someone who came into professional life during this time, I thought this process might make choosing work clothes easier. I had my colors “done” at a home party and purchased the seminal book, “Color Me Beautiful.” I was deemed a “winter,” which admittedly was a relief, because these were colors I already wore and loved. Interestingly, like so many trends of the past, color analysis is enjoying a TikTok resurgence today. 

What activities comprise your daily life? Do you work in an office, or at home, or are you retired? Do you care for young children or older adults? Are you living out of a trunk or suitcase? Your style signature may incorporate items you need to look professional (whatever that means in your life), move with speed, or just relax. 

What stage of life are you living right now? I’ve found the clothes I like to wear in retirement do not include most of the clothes I wore as a PR professional when I met with the media or traveled and gave presentations. In the nearly three years since my retirement, I’ve moved the business dresses and suits to my local charity shops or Dress for Success and adapted my signature to accommodate a more relaxed vibe. (I did keep skirts, jackets and pants that I loved, still work for me, and can mix and match to suit a variety of occasions.) 

What hobbies do you enjoy? Do you go to concerts? Play sports? Volunteer? Go rock climbing? Most of the things you love to do (or, in some cases, HAVE to do) require getting dressed. The items you choose for these activities become some of the letters in your signature.

How do you decide what clothes you like? Many in my generation grew up reading magazines like TEEN, Seventeen, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Mademoiselle. My mother had a subscription in the mid-1970s to Harper’s Bazaar. I’ve purchased the telephone-sized September issue of Vogue almost every year since 1980. (Friend Karen and I fondly call it “The Brick.”) We got all our fashion from magazines, from the Sears catalogue, from TV (American Bandstand, Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family), and from ads in the local paper. I had access to several malls as a teen and often went with my friend Val to browse, “shake the racks,” and try on clothes with price tags too rich for our babysitting salaries. In the ‘90s, I watched “Style With Elsa Klensch” Saturdays on CNN. Today, the internet and social media are fashion sources. While I’m not as into trends these days, I still like the pageantry of fashion shows, which I pull up on YouTube. 

What is your attitude towards acquiring clothes and accessories? I loved to shop when I was young. I didn’t often have money to buy, but I fed my eye. Once I had a real job, I loved buying professional clothes, going-out clothes, casual clothes, and shoes for everything. This practice continued throughout my professional life, even after motherhood arrived. But as my family grew, shopping for clothes needed to take less of my attention. Browsing shops in malls became browsing and clicking online. I loved finding fantastic deals at the Outnet and at Shopbop. My friend Nora found fantastic deals thrifting and these days, I take her lead and look for items that compliment my closet and my life at my favorite second-hand shops. 

What I’ve Learned About Developing My Style Signature

As Carla Rockmore notes above, a style signature takes time to develop. Rather than being burdensome, it can provide an important opportunity to get to know yourself better. Some key points that have occurred to me, or that I’ve observed in others whose style I appreciate: 

It’s made of everything that makes you “you.” It’s the distillation of your experiences, desires, motivations, and confidence. And my goal, as Carla Rockmore notes, is my own happiness and pleasure. 

It doesn’t require gobs of money. You can find just the right items at thrift stores, at garage and rummage sales, or you may find a special item at a clothing swap. Open up your shopping horizons and you’ll feed your style signature. 

More doesn’t always mean better. Honestly, “more” and “a lot” are very subjective terms. One person’s “too much” is someone else’s “not enough.” I ask myself two questions when I go through my closet and dresser twice a year:  

• Am I happy with what I have available? 

• Can I make at least two looks that will have me feeling good? 

Size can take a back seat; center how you feel in your clothes. Clothing sizes, especially in the US, are far from standardized. I didn’t exactly like seeing changes in my sizes as I moved through my decades and phases of life. But when I saw how clothes that fit me well looked in the mirror, the number on the tag became less relevant. I might want a top to be more drapey or a bit more fitted, so I would size accordingly. Over the years, I have collected clothes that bear tags in numerous sizes, and each item fits the way I want it to. 

Your signature is built over time and to last. Sage advice says to invest in quality because it endures. Having frequently worn pieces tailored, if needed, helps them feel truly comfortable and reflective of you. Additionally, mending good quality, beloved pieces keeps them working for you through the years. With the advent of influencers and disposable clothes, mending and rewearing ad infinitum might be a hill to get over. While I enjoy the thrill of adding something new to my closet, I also love pulling clothes that I’ve had for a long time. I’ve taken care of them, and wearing them is like having old friends close by. I love mixing the old with the new, things I’ve chosen with items that were thoughtfully chosen as gifts, pieces from the past that still work and reflect me today with new items that give the whole look a fresh perspective. Things that truly no longer work (or maybe reflect too much of a trend) do get donated. But I don’t mind putting pieces away that I love but maybe don’t want to look at for a while so I can rediscover and give them a different spin in a few years. 

At its most authentic, your style signature truly suits the person you are now. All through life, there are parts of us that evolve and parts that remain true from birth to death. One of my favorite quotes is from author Anne Lamott: “We contain all the ages we have ever been.” All you have seen and done, all you have touched, accepted, embraced, refused, and discarded, has brought you to here and now. Your choices reflect on your life. Let the clothes you wear each day do the same. Consistency and joy in application is what becomes and endures as a signature. 

Laurie White Bergman, a retired public relations professional and recent empty-nester, finds her latest act full of places to visit, activities to explore, skills to learn (or rediscover), and friends to make it all fun and worthwhile. She lives in St. Louis County, Missouri. Connect with her on Threads: @laurie_bergman 

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