Across Time and Tables: 10 Women I’d Love to Chat With (Part 1)

Most women love to chat -- to share stories, good news or troubles; expound on the day's happenings (and maybe gossip a bit); or get to know each other better. We enjoy that connection with each other through offering a bit of ourselves and receiving a bit from our friend, colleague, family member or new acquaintance.

With March being a celebration of Women's History Month, I began to think about the women I would enjoy having a good gab session with. Not like a formal interview, but a personal conversation that lets me build a deeper understanding of how she sees/saw the world and her place in it, what her ambitions are/were, how she finds/found joy and what brings/brought her sorrow or concern, and why she makes/made the choices in her life.

After much comtemplation, I assembled a list of 10 women for these imaginary conversations and thought about the questions I would most want to ask them. To be honest, it's only an initial list because I could select scores more women for future confabs.

So, picture a comfortable setting -- on a park bench or comfy sofa and maybe sipping a cool beverage -- in which I could have an imaginary chat with each of these ladies. After a few pleasantries, I would be primed to get to know them a bit better.

Note: This blog post is part 1 of my list. Come back next week to discover who I've selected for part 2.

Family

My first selections are my two grandmothers. They both died before I was born, although my grandfathers remarried and I was blessed to have other women fill the grandmother role in wonderful ways. I know bits and pieces of their lives, but there is still more I'd love to know.

Mildred Olive Stauffer Carlson

Photo 1: My paternal grandmother, Mildred Stauffer Carlson. / Photo 2: My paternal grandparents, Mildred (Stauffer) and Glen Carlson. / Photo 3: Carlson family (mid 1950s). Front row: Kenny, Loren and Maury. Back row: Harold (my father) and parents Mildred and Glen.

My paternal grandmother Mildred (1914-1957) was born near Durand, Illinois, to William and Mabel (Crowley) Stauffer. She was the second oldest of five children. She graduated from Durand High School as did my grandfather, Glen Edward (1915-1971). According to my Uncle Loren, who is their youngest of four sons, Glen completed two years of school in one year, so Mildred and Glen graduated the same year. They married on February 21, 1938, in Durand. Glen was a farmer, first renting a farm near Pecatonica, Illinois, before moving to a farm outside Winnebago, Illinois (near Rockford). Mildred was primarily a farm wife and mother to my father, Harold, and his three younger brothers, Maurice (Maury), Kenneth (Kenny), and Loren. She died of cancer on December 22, 1957. (Note: I was born in 1962.)

"So, Grandma Carlson, can I ask you a few questions?"

Young Life

• What was your childhood like? What were your favorite pastimes? How did you help with chores or other responsabilities?

• Who were your friends? What did you like to do together?

• What did you like/dislike about school?

Courtship and Marriage

• How did you meet Glen and when did you start dating/courting? What attracted you to Glen?

• What was your wedding like?

• How did you and Glen get along in marriage? What made you laugh together and what made you fight?

• What was it like to be a farm wife?

Family

• What was my dad Harold like as a baby, young boy and teenager? Was he always a perfectionist, tell corny jokes, and have a quick temper?

• How did you keep your sanity while raising four boys? What was special about each one? How did they make you laugh and how did they frustrate you?

• What are your favorite memories of time with Glen and the boys?

Your Interests

• What musical instruments did you learn to play? How important was music to you?

• Where did you perform your music?

• Did you like to cook? What were your favorite recipes?

• What other hobbies -- if you had time -- did you enjoy?

Health

• How did you find out you had cancer? What treatments were available to you?

Mabel Leah Parman Stewart

Photo 1: My Great Aunt Estella (Toots) Parman with her younger sister, Mabel (my maternal grandmother) in the early 1900s. Mabel's baby photo resembles my mother in photo 3. / Photo 2: My maternal grandparents, Mabel (Parman) and Roy Stewart on their wedding day in 1929 in Mazomanie, Wisconsin. I love her shoes! / Photo 3: My mother Royalin (Stewart) Carlson standing in the front of her siblings: Terrill (Terry) Stewart, Leah (Stewart) Bachman, Ruth (Stewart) Christensen, and Kendall (Ken) Stewart, mid 1940s.

Switching to the other side of my family, I'd next love to speak with my maternal grandmother, Mabel Leah Parman Stewart (1908-1941). She was born, lived much of her life, and was buried in Mazomanie, Wisconsin, where my mother and her siblings all grew up. I don't know as much about her life, and I regret not learning more from my mother, aunts and uncles before they all passed. Mabel was the daughter of Aaron Lenhart Parman and Clara Blalock Parman, and she had four siblings. She and my grandfather, Roy Lees Stewart (1907-1989), were married in 1929. She died from complications after giving birth to my mother.

"I'd love to know more about your life, Grandma Stewart. Can we chat?"

Young Life

• Where did you grow up? What were your interests and how did you help with chores within your family?

• How did you get along with your siblings?

• What are some of your childhood memories with your brother and three sisters and with your friends?

Courtship and Marriage

• How and when did you meet Roy? When did you two get interested in each other?

• How did Roy propose?

• What was special about your wedding? Where did you buy the shoes you wore on your wedding day?

• How did you and Roy get along in marriage? What made you laugh together and what made you fight?

Family

• What was it like to raise four children, especially during your fifth pregnancy?

• How would you describe Ken, Terry, Leah and Ruth as children?

• What were your favorite activities to do as a family?

• What were your hopes for your fifth child, my mother?

• Did you and Roy want to have more children?

Your Interests

• How did you like to spend your free time -- when you had any?

• Did you like to travel? Where did you travel to?

Historical Americans

With the approaching 250th anniversary of independence in the United States, I could have selected any number of women from that time period to include in my conversation wish list: Martha Washington, Molly Pitcher, Elizabeth (Eliza) Schuyler Hamilton or Abigail Adams. My love of needlework nudged me towards one of our country's most famous sewists. Other women in years past also picque my interest, so I've included a favorite author and the founder of an organization for girls.

Elizabeth (Betsy) Griscom Ross

Since I enjoy needlework, I naturally thought of Betsy Ross, who is credited by her family with sewing the first flag of our country using a design brought to her by General George Washington, commander-in-chief of the Continental Army, and two congressional committee members, Robert Morris and George Ross (the uncle of John Ross, Betsy's first husband). Elizabeth Griscom Ross was born in 1752 in Gloucester City, Colony of New Jersey, British America. After attending school as a child, her father apprenticed her to an upholsterer where she became an expert seamstress and upholsterer. Besides the first American flag, she later sewed flags for several military installations. She was married and widowed three times and had seven daughters in total. In her last three years of life, Betsy was completely blind and lived with one of her daughters in Philadelphia. She died at 84 years old in 1836, 60 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

"You're such an icon in our American history, Mrs. Ross. Would you be willing to share some details about your life with someone living in the United States more than 200 years after your time?"

Early Life

• What was your daily life like in the British colony of New Jersey as you grew up?

• What did you study in the Quaker school as a child?

Work Life

• How long did you work as an apprentice as an upholsterer?

• Did you enjoy the work or was it just a necessity to have a trade?

• What types of upholstery work did you enjoy the most -- repairing uniforms or making tents, blankets, and paper tubes cartridges with musket balls for ammunitions?

• How successful was the upholstery business you owned with your third husband, John Claypoole? Was it difficult to run the business as a woman for the last 10 years after his death?

Working on the Flag

• What did you think when General Washington came to ask you to sew the first flag for the country?

• Is the legend true that you suggested that the stars on the design sketch be changed from six-pointed to five-pointed ones because they were easier to cut out?

• Where did you source the materials for the flag? How long did it take you to sew the flag? (As a quilter, I'm always asked how long a quilt took me to make.)

Reflections on a New Country

• What was your life like during the Revolutionary War?

• How did you feel about the colonies declaring independence from England?

• Did you want the new Constitution to include rights for women as well? How did your female family members and friends feel about women's rights not being named specifically?

• What struggles did you personally witness as a citizen of the new United States of America?

• What would you think of our country's history through its first 250 years?

Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder

Photo 1: Laura Ingalls Wilder as a young woman. / Photo 2: Laura and Almanzo Wilder. / Photo 3: Laura Ingalls Wilder in her later years.

When I was a young reader, my mother introduced me to the Little House books written by Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867-1957). The series of books are based mainly on her own life in a pioneer family that moved across several states in the quest for land to homestead and for other economic reasons. I devoured one book after another within a couple years, and reading them remains a favorite childhood memory. If I had the chance to talk with Laura, I'd want to know more about how she felt about frequently moving to new towns and territories, how she decided which parts of her family history to include or omit from the books, and how her life with farmer husband Almanzo James Wilder (1859-1949) and daughter Rose Wilder Lane unfolded.

"Mrs. Wilder, I've been a big fan since reading your books as a child. I'd love to know more about your childhood, marriage to Almanzo, and your later career as a writer."

Early Life

• Where was your favorite place to live?

• How well did you get along with your sisters, Mary, Carrie and Grace?

• What did you like and dislike about traveling by covered wagon to the next homestead?

• What was a typical day like for you as a child?

Going to and Teaching School

• How challenging was attending school or learning on your own when your family moved around a lot? Did your mother Caroline give you and your sisters lessons or did you have to wait until there was a school to attend?

• How easy was it to find a job as a school teacher around De Smet, South Dakota? Were teachers in high demand?

• Although you've admitted to becoming a school teacher only to help your family financially, what profession would you have liked to do?

Courtship and Marriage

• How accurate are the accounts of your courtship with Almanzo in your books? What attracted you to him? What was courtship like for young adults in the mid 1880s? What did your parents think of Almanzo?

• Despite the series of unfortunate events in your early marriage, what are your fondest memories of that time?

• How well did you and Almanzo get along with each other? What things brought the two of you joy and how did you help each other through the challenges?

• What was most special about Rocky Ridge Farm that you and Almanzo built over many years outside of Mansfield, Missouri?

Writing Career

• Did you ever expect to become a writer and to achieve so much fame?

• As a regular columnist for the Missouri Ruralist magazine, how did you come up with ideas for your "As a Farm Woman Thinks" column? How did you produce your columns -- first with pen and paper and then on a typewriter? How did being a columnist help you with writing the children's series of books based on your family's pioneer life?

• When your autobiographical manuscript titled Pioneer Girl was rejected by publishers, how did you feel about your daughter Rose reviewing it and suggesting you expand the stories and rewrite them for children? How long did it take you to rework the original manuscript?

• How would you characterize your collaboration with Rose while working on the Little House books? How would you quell the controversy about whether you or Rose wrote much of the books?

• Is there anything you wish you had included in your Little House books?

• By the end of your life, you were certainly well known as an author, but how would you react to knowing your popularity continues into the 21st century?

Juliette Gordon Low

Photo 1: Juliette Gordon Low in her Girl Scout uniform. / Photo 2: Juliette Gordon Low, center, with two Girl Scout members.

As both a Girl Scout member (a Brownie during my second and third grade years) and later as an adult leader for my daughter's troop and volunteer for the local service unit, I've long admired the Girl Scout movement in the United States because of its programming to develop confidence, leadership, and other qualities and interests for girls. I've learned a lot about Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of Girl Scouts in the United States, but it would be fascinating to have a conversation with her to learn even more about her life and the passion she fostered for this organization.

"I'm a proud Girl Scout myself and thankful for the work you did to start the organization in the U.S. Mrs. Low, can we talk a bit about your incredible life?"

Early Life

• What do you think drove your curiousity for your many interests as a child (art, poetry, playwrighting and performance, and helping others)?

• Did you like being called by the nickname Daisy?

• How do you think the first group you tried to organize, The Helpful Hands Club, and later the secret group, Theta Tau, at boarding school influenced your later work with promoting Girl Scouts in the United States?

• What are your favorite memories of attending boarding school? Do you wish you could have remained at home with your family or did you not mind being away?

Courtship and Marriage

• When you met your future husband, William Mackay Low, while back in Savannah, Georgia, why did you have to start your courtship in secret? How did the courtship progress for the three years you two were apart? Were you surprised when William proposed?

• How did you feel about not being able to bear children? How much did this fact affect your marriage and perhaps lead William to affairs with other women?

• How did the protracted proceedings of obtaining a divorce and then the long separation affect your ability to move on once you knew the marriage difficulties could not be resolved?

Founding of Girl Scouts

• After meeting and discussing the Boy Scouts program with founder Sir Robert Baden-Powell in England and then getting involved with the similar Girl Guides program there, what qualities of these programs intrigued you the most?

• How did you decide to bring the Girl Guides program back to the United States and start the first troop in Savannah? Were you surprised that 18 girls registered in that first troop?

• When you decided to rename the organization to Girl Scouts of America, what was your response when you learned the Savannah troop had already renamed themselves to Girl Scouts because they liked the connotation of the word "scout"?

• Why do you think your continued promotion of the program yielded so much uptake across the United States and then to many other countries? What were the biggest challenges in growing the organization? What achievements are you most proud of regarding Girl Scouts?

Honoring Your Legacy

How would you react to knowing the following events occurred in honor of your contributions to Girl Scouts?

• A U.S. postage stamp was issued in 1948.

• Your Savannah birthplace and home is now a museum with thousands of visitors each year.

• You were inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame in 1979 and presented the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2012, the 100th anniversary of the founding.

• Your birthday on October 13 is also known as Girl Scouts' Founder's Day.

• You were honored on a U.S. quarter in 2025.

Who Are the Women on Your Conversation List?

Are you compiling your own list of women you'd love to talk with? What other questions would you ask any of the above women? Let me know in the comments section.

Stay tuned for my blog post next week with the second half of my list.

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